So you’ve finally sat down and set your wedding budget, and now it's time to get down to the nitty gritty and start making some decisions. Getting your guy to even look at a wedding invitation sample is like pulling teeth! To a lot of men, wedding planning is just not their cup of tea and they would much rather pay someone to do it all for them. Why are so many men just so resistant on planning the most important day of their lives? That's a tricky question, and I had to pick a man’s brain to figure it out.
Why are grooms just not that into it?
I took some time to interview a couple of dapper fellows I know to get to the bottom of all this. Some of the answers I received were actually pretty straightforward. Basically, wedding planning is like shopping at a mall. There’s too many options to choose from and they don’t even know where to start. It’s too overwhelming for some men, and takes up a lot of mental energy. Yes ladies, you read it right, its just too much. How do brides make it a little less bewildering for their grooms? Apparently, simplicity is key. Filter your options for them and break it down to your top two choices. Also, they would prefer for you to stick to “yes” or “no” questions. Let's be honest, you’ve already decided on what you want anyway and what you're really looking for is confirmation.
How to reel him in!
Now that we’ve gotten to the core of the situation, how do you get him to actually be involved and enjoy it? When I got married, I let my husband pick the venue. From that moment, he got hooked with the whole process because of his excitement of the venue he chose. Essentially, let him think he is in “control” from the get go. Give him a little ego boost. :) But of course take the time to do some research and present him your favorite options. So when it comes down to it, no matter what he chooses you won’t be disappointed.
Get him involved in wedding aspects he care about most.
Another approach is to discuss components that he would take most interest in such as food or entertainment. For example, my husband loves to cook and food was a very important factor to him, so I let him take the reins on that. He had a ball coming up with a delicious menu and took pleasure in going to the tastings. If your future hubby loves music, let him choose the DJ or live band and have them work together to create the perfect set of entertainment for the big day. Make an attempt to show him how fun it could actually be, and try not to reveal that colossal checklist that you have.
Do grooms care about design?
Moving on to what they say is the least fascinating part of wedding planning, design. Some men feel like they are just not very creative and wouldn’t be helpful when giving their input on the design concept. But the good news is, they still want you to run a few things passed them. More so on the general ideas, like they still want to know what color palette you decided on, but you can leave out place setting details. This leaves the bride to make all the fun design decisions! It's safe to say, they do care somewhat about design but just a smidge. There are just some items on that checklist that are better off discussing with your wedding planner anyway.
Overall, after interviewing a few men that have gone through the wedding planning process they all generally agreed on the same thing. They only want one outcome from all of the chaos and that's to keep their brides happy. :) If these Jedi mind tricks don’t quite work for your groom, then you might just have to face the facts and enjoy planning with your mom, best friend or wedding planner instead. So go wild, pick all your favorite things because as the saying goes...“happy wife, happy life!
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